One of My Favourite Poems

In honour of American Banned Books Week, here’s my favourite poem by my favourite banned author, Margaret Atwood:

You Fit Into Me

you fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

Needless to say, I’m not one of those romantic girls. It’s highly unrealistic. Love is dirty, messy and a little painful, which is waaaay more interesting than riding off into the sunset with Prince Charming. I mean, what happens when Cinderella gets to the castle? I feel like the Prince has erectile dysfunction and Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother has to make her a dildo that turns back into a pumpkin (cucumber?) at midnight.

Happy Birthday Shel Silverstein and William Faulkner

September 25th was the birthday of two very different, but very talented authors. Both men have passed, but Silverstein would have been 81 and Faulkner would have been 114 years-old.

Shel Silverstein is a children’s author who wrote “The Giving Tree” and poetry collections like “Where the Sidewalk Ends.” Faulkner is a Nobel Prize winning author of experimental novels about families in the Southern U.S.

You’d think they have nothing in common and yet both men have had their books banned from libraries. I understand (but don’t agree with) the argument for banning Faulkner, but Silverstein? The guy wrote “Hug o’ War.”

Banned Books Week

Banned Books Week raises awareness about censorship and freedom of speech in the United States. For more information looky here.

The list of frequently banned and challenged books might surprise you. Classics like “Catcher in the Rye” and “To Kill a Mockingbird” are constantly under attack, however, these novels share real estate with recent phenomenons like “Harry Potter” and “Twilight.” Also on the list: the Goosebumps series, a couple of Judy Blume novels and even “The Handmaid’s Tale” by iconic Canadian author Margaret Atwood.

Why are these books banned? The answer is something like, “blah blah blah sex, blah blah religion, blah blah inappropriate.”

Basically, any book that is scary, sexy or edgy has been censored. Many of these books address LGBT issues and gender politics. Some of them are racially charged books from past and present that discuss inequality. So… you know… books about really important social issues. Also, books have been banned for something as petty as a couple of swears. Like FUCK and BITCH. Take that censors!

Ridiculous? Yes, seeing as I read “A Handmaid’s Tale” when I was 15 and it introduced me to the world of feminism and the amazing writing of Margaret Atwood. And especially since “Catcher in the Rye” was the map I used to navigate adolescence.

The moral of this story is BOO CENSORSHIP!

The Canadian version of Banned Books Week is Freedom to Read Week, taking place Feb. 26th to March 3rd, 2012.

 

Inspiring Woman: Salma Hayek

My love affair with Salma Hayek began in 2002, when she starred in the movie “Frida.” Salma is a ridiculously gorgeous Latina from Mexico. She’s also one of the most talented actresses in Hollywood and an intelligent woman with savvy business skills.

Salma fought for eight years to make a film that not only showcased Mexican culture, but payed proper tribute to two Mexican icons, Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. As I have said several times on this blog, Frida Kahlo is my hero (actually she’s far beyond that, but “hero” is the closest one word description.) I have Salma Hayek to thank for introducing me to Frida, or at least the Frida depicted in Salma’s movie.

In order to get “Frida” made, Salma had to argue her case to film executives who said that nobody would pay to see a movie about a fat man and a hairy woman… ugh… don’t even get me started… She also supervised several rewrites of the script and scraped together enough money to fund the shoot. She poured all of her love and passion into the project and, eight years later, “Frida” was a financially successful, Oscar winning film.

Salma received an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Frida Kahlo. She said in an interview that if she’d won, she would have donated her statuette to the Blue House in Coyoacán, where Frida lived and died (now the Frida Kahlo Museum) because the award belonged with Frida’s things. The highest praise for Salma’s performance came from Frida’s niece, who thought Salma had perfectly captured her aunt’s spirit and rewarded the actress with one of Frida’s necklaces.

Check out all the intelligent things Salma had to say on Inside the Actor’s Studio. Skip to the last 10 minutes to hear her say some truly inspiring things about individuality and ethnicity in Hollywood:

“People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.” -Salma Hayek

Happy Autumn Equinox

Happy first day of autumn! This is our second harvest festival and one of my favourite holidays. If you’re a Witch, you already know that our sabbats celebrate the physical and symbolic meanings of the seasons. If you are a non-Witch, you just learned  Pagan Spirituality 101. Regardless of your spiritual persuasion, here’s what you should celebrate today:

Balance

Today is one of only two days per year when the light and darkness are equal. This is also a time when nature is balanced between summer and winter. Reflect on the balance in your life. Are the spiritual, emotional, physical and mental aspects of your life in harmony? What about the balance of work life and home life?

Thanksgiving

Mabon is called the Witch’s Thanksgiving. Because Samhain (Halloween) is our New Year, Mabon is the time when Witches reflect on all they’ve accomplished in the past year. In a spirit of gratitude, Witches thank the Goddess for all of her blessings. Make a gratitude list or tell a friend you love them. In true Thanksgiving spirit, prepare a meal with harvest foods or decorate with autumn leaves.

Wine

All of the wine deities are celebrated on Mabon. Drink to Dionysus and Bacchus, gods of wine. Toast Meditrina, the goddess of wine and Witchcraft. Celebrate the grapes that have ripened and hang heavy on the vine. The burgundy colour of red wine compliments the seasonal colours seen in nature.

Darkness

Get comfortable with darkness; you’ll being seeing more of it as the seasons change. Try to embrace the growing darkness by finding a connection. Maybe the long nights help you to sleep better or allow you to read in bed longer. Maybe you like to see the stars or you enjoy the coziness of sitting inside on a cold night. Darkness is an essential part of life, so you better get used to it.

Apples

Apples are in abundance this time of year. Go apple picking, bake pies or drink spiked cider. Divine your future with apple divination. Celebrate Pomona, the goddess of apples.

Seasons

Go outside and experience the change of season firsthand. Have coffee on a patio or take a walk in a park. If it’s stormy, enjoy the sound of rain on the windows and notice the peaceful grey sky. Take a walk in the rain without an umbrella. Splash in puddles.

New Beginnings

The Equinox marks the beginning of autumn and September marks the start of a new school year. It’s time for new beginnings and decision making. Start a new project, take up a hobby or enroll in a class. If you’re lost in life, ask for guidance. Offer a few pomegranate seeds to Persephone and she’ll help you make the right decision.

Painting by Mark Boyle

Here’s a little Equinox poetry:

“As autumn returns to earth’s northern hemisphere,
and day and night are briefly,
but perfectly,
balanced at the equinox,
may we remember anew how fragile life is —-
human life, surely,
but also the lives of all other creatures,
trees and plants,
waters and winds.

May we make wise choices in how and what we harvest,
may earth’s weather turn kinder,
may there be enough food for all creatures,
may the diminishing light in our daytime skies
be met by an increasing compassion and tolerance
in our hearts.”
-Kathleen Jenks, Autumn Lore

Goodbye Summer

Look for amazing prints at The Decorium Studio on Etsy.com

“I know the year is dying,
Soon the summer will be dead.
I can trace it in the flying
Of the black crows overhead;
I can hear it in the rustle
Of the dead leaves as I pass,
And the south wind’s plaintive sighing
Through the dry and withered grass.

Ah, ’tis then I love to wander,
Wander idly and alone,
Listening to the solemn music
Of sweet nature’s undertone;
Wrapt in thoughts I cannot utter,
Dreams my tongue cannot express,
Dreams that match the autumn’s sadness
In their longing tenderness.”
-  Mortimer Crane Brown, Autumn Dreams

I’m happy to inform you that it’s the last day of summer. Please don’t get all depressed and mopey; you’ve been through this before. Remember? It’s called seasons.

Grab a bottle of red wine and get ready for misty mornings, burgundy chrysanthemums and piles of yellow leaves.

It’s going to be great.

Happy Birthday Stephen King & Leonard Cohen

If I was alive in th 1960's, I totally would have been Leonard Cohen's lover...

Today, Stephen king turns 64 and Leonard Cohen turns 77.

Happy Birthday to the man with the gravelly voice!

Everyone should celebrate Mr. Cohen for his beyond amazing writing and ability to see the beauty in all of life’s ugliness. Seriously, I’m Canadian and “Leonard Cohen Day” should be a national holiday. Honor this literary genius and talented musician by reading his poetry (I recommend “The Book of Longing“) or by listening to “Suzanne” on repeat while smoking cigarettes and making sweet hippie love to some gorgeous blonde.

Fun Fact: Leonard Cohen’s most famous song, “Hallelujah,” took 5 years to write. The song had 80 verses before Mr. Cohen picked the best ones, creating the the beautiful song we all love. For more information, see this Telegraph article.

 

Stephen King with a typewriter I wish owned...

Happy Birthday to the man with the creepy novels!

Confession: I’ve never read a Stephen King novel in its entirety. I know. I’m a bad person. BUT a very wise teacher assigned his memoir “On Writing” to my high school creative writing class. Six years later, it’s still one of my favorite books. I read “On Writing” at least once a year for inspiration. Many writers would sooner swear on it than the Bible. Celebrate Mr. King by dressing up as a clown and scaring children or by re-reading Pet Cemetery and then sleeping with the lights on. Or rent “Misery” and watch Kathy Bates break some legs… let that be a lesson to all the egotistical writers out there…

Fun Fact: Stephen King wrote “Carrie,” his first published novel, with a typewriter on his lap, crammed behind the dryer in the trailer he shared with his wife and two kids when he wasn’t working long hours washing bloody hospital sheets at an industrial laundry facility.

While celebrating these two great men, remember that creative genius is 99% hard work and 1% talent.

Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII: An Astrological Horror Show

Sexy Natalie Dormer played Anne Boleyn in "The Tudors"

UPDATE: If you’re interested in astrology, you should check out the Bunny Sunday Shop!

Nobody knows for sure when Anne Boleyn was born. They, the historical expert people, think it was either 1501 or 1507 and nobody is certain of the month but it might be May. This is partly to do with the fact that women were basically livestock and nobody remembers a cow’s birthday… and partly to do with the fact that the Boleyn’s church didn’t keep records.

Feminist ranting aside, historians know for absolute certainty that Henry VIII was born on June 28th, 1491. Astrologically speaking, this means Henry is a Cancer sign. Which makes perfect sense; Cancers are notoriously moody, devious, easily flattered and ambitious. While they enjoy romance, parties and family, they hate to be told what to do and refuse to listen to the advice of others. Doesn’t that sound like Henry? In fact, Cancer is the most volatile sign of the zodiac. Explains all the wife murdering right?

Side note: My apologies to Cancer signs. Henry is an example of a very negative Cancerian. If it make you feel better, I’m a Pisces and so was Bugsy Siegel.

Obviously, Anne was not Cancer-compatible. Because of my undying love for all things Boleyn, I wanted to figure out what Anne’s astrological sign might have been. I ruled out all the water signs (too similar) and researched Anne Boleyn’s most notable qualities. A few characteristics kept coming up: headstrong, intelligent, graceful and passionate. In addition, Anne was enchanting, despite not being a standard Tudor-era beauty. Henry preferred his lovers young, blonde, blue-eyed and shapely. Anne was very slim, had dark eyes and dark hair and yet she was the sex kitten of Tudor England. In fact, Henry passed over blonde, blue-eyed Mary Boleyn in order to pursue Anne, Mary’s younger sister.

So what does all this mean?

Historians take note: Anne Boleyn was an Aries! She was a passionate fire sign, the complete opposite of Henry’s water sign. Aries are also known for their energy (in bed) and a fierce competitive streak, which is how Anne hooked Henry to begin with. Interestingly, the body part associated with Aries is the face. Anne’s eyes were often described as “bewitching” or “beguiling.” Anne was a typical Aries: adventurous, quick-witted and  courageous. She needed to be all those things in order to climb the social ladder of the royal court. Anne went from an obscure country girl to the Queen of England in a matter of months. She was also quick tempered, impatient and foolish, which lead to her inevitable downfall. Also, fellow Aries women, like Catherine of Medici and Isabella of Castile, were strong female leaders with similar traits.

I kid you not, this comes directly from an article or Aries traits:

“The intensity of your sexual urges… can trick you into an early, unwise marriage which may end disastrously.”

I rest my case.

Now watch this awesome video. It’s dedicated to Anne and features clips from “The Tudors” set to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”

Inspiring Woman: Princess of Eboli

Ana de Mendoza, born in 1540, was a contemporary of Elizabeth I. As a child, Ana lost her eye in a mock sword fight with a servant.

Soon after, the phrase “it’s all fun and games until someone looses an eye” was coined. (Maybe? I hope…)

In the 16th Century, any kind of physical deformity was catastrophic. The loss of an eye would have made any girl unmarriageable, noble or not. For example, Marie Antoinette’s sister, Maria Elizabeth, was the most beautiful of the Empress’s daughters until she caught smallpox. The disease left her face pockmarked so no man would marry her. She died in a convent, forgotten and alone.

Ana would not be so lucky. Despite her disfigurement, she was forced to marry a Spanish prince at the age of 12 because her father wanted to disown her. Expected to bear the children of her much older husband, Ana dutifully birthed 10 babies. Only 6 of her children survived to adulthood.

Tragic yes? But the story isn’t over…

Instead of becoming a victim of her time, Ana grew into a beautiful woman who was celebrated all over Spain.

Ana’s intelligence was highly praised in an era when women were treated like furniture – silent, pretty, and built for men to lie on top of. She was accomplished in sewing and embroidery, important womanly duties. She could also ride, hunt and fight like a man.

Perhaps most ironically, Ana was considered to be the most beautiful woman of her time.

She was pursued by Kings and noblemen. Courtiers buzzed with excitement when she entered a room. Ana’s beauty was praised in every castle in Europe and her eye patches were the finer than most women’s dresses.

The moral of this story:

Beauty is so much deeper than skin

…….and eye patches are sexy.

Remember Ana the next time a tv commercial tries to tell you your teeth aren’t white enough.

10 Ways to Celebrate Mabon

Mabon is the Witches’ Thanksgiving. It’s a time to feast and show gratitude. Mabon also marks the Autumn Equinox, the second day of the year when light and dark are in perfect balance. It’s the perfect time to enjoy the autumn sun and the cool night air. Here’s some inspiration:

1. Apple picking, followed by apple pie making, followed by you sending me pie in the mail!

2. Prepare for Halloween. Buy a Hello Kitty costume for your cat. Hang cobwebs in the windows. Put on zombie makeup and walk around town.

3. Feast. Make your favourite foods. Eat several containers of Ben & Jerry’s. Cook up some vegan fudge. Order Chinese.

4. Be Thankful. Start a gratitude journal. Make a list of things you’re grateful for. For example, I’m grateful for General Ginge and his demanding morning meows:

The General in a less demanding mood.

5. Find balance. Do some yoga, then eat a Cheeto. Catch up on paperwork, then watch the entire series of My So Called Life on dvd. Write a novel, then read the sex tips in Cosmo.

6. I take it back, don’t read the sex tips in Cosmo. Nothing good can come from opening Cosmopolitan magazine, unless worrying about vagina wrinkles or knowing “What Guys Really Want” is high on your list of priorities. (Sorry Cosmo lovers!)

7. Get outside. Watch the light change. Picnic in the park. Hike in the woods. Frolic in a meadow.

8. Harvest. Pick fruit from trees or herbs from gardens. It’s unlucky to take the last of the harvest, so leave at least one tomato on the vine. Bake, dry or can seasonal food to use during the winter.

9. Drink. All of the wine deities (Bacchus, Dionysus, Meditrina, etc) are celebrated on Mabon. Pick red or white and finish the bottle. Listen to “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” for inspiration… shut up… Billy Joel is AWESOME.

10. Celebrate Mothers and Daughters. Mabon is the perfect time to celebrate Persephone, Goddess of the Underworld, and Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest. Their mythology is all about balance, just like the autumn equinox: Mother-daughter, light-dark, spring-autumn. Eat pomegranates, the fruit made famous in their mythology. Or journey to Hades. Whatever floats your boat.

Have fun this Mabon!