So I showed Fiancé this painting because it basically sums up our relationship (I like cute things – he like gory things) but instead of bringing us closer together, it tore us apart:
Me: Look at this epic painting!
Fiancé: The narwhal killed everyone.
Me: Ya. Look how happy he is! But in real life narwhals don’t use their horns to kill things.
Fiancé: Sure they don’t.
Me: THEY DON’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fiancé: They should. They should joust. TO THE DEATH.
Me: NOOOOO!!!!!! Also, why are there so many narwhals on Etsy right now? When I was super into narwhals back in March there was nothing and now there’s SO much stuff! Why don’t I have a job in marketing or something?
Fiancé: Because marketing is super corporate and you would hate it.
Me: But I’m SO ahead of the trends! Somebody should really hire me.
So the moral of the story is, I’m available for all of your narwhal trend-spotting needs.